Our Stories by:Eric Zeigler

    Growing up in a Christian family, with parents that practice everyday what you hear in church on Sunday, I always had God in my life.  With that foundation, I was able to avoid many pitfalls that hurt so many young people growing up.  At the same time, when you don’t face many struggles in life, you don’t have the opportunity or the need to depend on God.  I knew he was always there for me, but that led to me taking our relationship for granted.
   All that changed on June 8, 2008.  Kelly, my wife, was pregnant with our second child and that was the date that her doctor scheduled to have her induced.  We had already found out the sex of the child, a boy, and the fact that we knew the date he would be born left little room for surprise.  Everything was so planned out and scheduled that there lacked the nervous feeling that accompanied the birth of our first child, Mya, in March 2007.  All the tests that had been done prior to this day were great, and we had the utmost confidence in the entire process.  Kelly’s sisters were in the prep room with us, just killing time, waiting for the drugs to take affect and the baby to start dropping.  We were playing games and joking, just waiting for our boy’s arrival.  After a few hours, the doctor thought things were not progressing as expected, so the she wanted to check Kelly and the baby.  At that point things took a turn for the worse.  Kelly started to have heavy bleeding, and immediately six or seven nurses were called in.  The panic on the face of the doctor sent a sick feeling all through me.    She was crying as they ran her out, and I told her to be strong, and promised everything would be fine.  A feeling helplessness hit me like a wave.  I was totally incapacitated.  Kelly was rushed to the emergency room for a C-section.  The doctor ran me to a prep room.  Through a mixed stream of medical jargon and cursing, she attempted to explain the situation to a lost father & husband.  The only message that I was receiving clearly was the baby needed to be out now!
    She apologized that I couldn’t join Kelly, as she led me to a lonely chair outside the emergency room.  I was left with random conversation from the emergency room, my own terrible thoughts and fears, and God.  There couldn’t have been anyone in the world praying as hard as I was at that moment.  I knew that if there was a listening God, that I should have his full attention.  Doctors were scrubbing in and running into the room.  Seconds felt like hours. I prayed for Kelly, wisdom for the doctors, and strength for my little boy.   Between prayers and crazy thoughts I tried to make out the conversation in the room.  The half sentences that were audible drove me nuts.  Certainly my own paranoia was causing me to hear the worst of things.  Suddenly, and very clear, a doctor yelled, “We don’t have a pulse!!”
    My prayers grew stronger, but changed from hope to needing strength.  If I was going to be the pillar that my family needed, I needed strength, because I was sure we had just lost our son.  Moments later a doctor came out to explain the situation.  Our boy, Dane Mitchell Zeigler, was born on June 8, 2008.  He lost a lot of blood during delivery, and need to be resuscitated, but was alive and heading to the NICU.  Kelly was being taken to the recovery area, and I could meet her there.  She had to put under anesthesia to perform the surgery, so she was going to be very confused on what was going on.  Kelly woke up crying, asking about Dane and needing to see him.  I explained the situation the best I could, and wanted her to know how strong she and Dane both were.  Because of her condition and need to recover, she would not be able to go to see Dane yet.                                 
   The nurse led me to the NICU, where I was able to see my baby boy.  Wow!  As any parent who gets to see their child for the first time, you know that words can’t do it justice.  He had strawberry blonde hair, a trait that he picked up from my wife’s side of the family.  Even though he was hooked up to all sorts of machines, and tubes, Dane was precious.  He had these black, beady eyes and was looking all around and squirming – all great signs.  I stuck my finger out for Dane to touch, and thanked God that our miracle was here. The head of NICU explained the next couple hours were going to be a battle for Dane.  The heavy bleeding that preceded Kelly being whisked away to delivery was blood that Dane had lost.  A blood transfusion was a possibility, if Dane didn’t continue to improve.  The doctor was optimistic, and I was sure everything would now be OK.  Dane was being treated by an excellent staff and looked so good.  I needed to go and tell Kelly all about our boy, and knew the wait was killing her.  Through the euphoria of being a proud father, I described Dane to Kelly.  At the same time, I relayed the words of caution from the doctor, as best I could.  Until we had Dane in our arms, we had to keep reassuring each other that things would be fine.
   Both Kelly and my family came to the hospital.  The support was amazing.  We prayed for our family and Dane - prayed for another miracle.  We were waiting for Kelly to be cleared to see Dane, when the nurse approached asking for the father.  Again I was led to the NICU to speak with the doctor.  They had tried to give Dane a blood transfusion, but he crashed.  They were able to resuscitate him, but they feared it could happen again.  Dane was lying in the bubble, just worn out.  His eyes were closed, and lacked the energy to move at all.  His body was rejecting the blood transfusion.  They would try to give him the blood again, but wanted me to be prepared to make an awful decision.  Medically they could resuscitate our boy countless times, and keep him alive, but at what price?  If he continued to crash and continue to be resuscitated, Dane would be suffering.
   I reported the somber update to our family.   It was Kelly and my wish to have Dane baptized, so the hospital chaplain was to meet our family in the NICU.   As we got there, the doctor told me that Dane had crashed again.  His body just couldn’t handle the blood they were trying to give him.  What an awful moment.  Our world had crashed down on us.  It was my job to convince Kelly that it was time to take him off of the machines.  She pleaded to God, to Dane, to the doctors for more time.  The look of pain on her face as she held our boy is haunting to me.  God needed Dane, and it was time for him to go be with him.
   We sat and held him as a family.  He was off their machines, and the tubes were removed.  Dane passed on June 9, four hours after he was born.  He was precious.  I held him, kissed him, and told him about his big sister, and asked him to be her guardian angel.  The NICU nurses allowed us to spend as much time as we needed.  Our family stayed in support as we loved our boy.
   Kelly and I retreated to our room, where we held each other, cried, and prayed.  Thinking that there would be no chance of sleeping, I quickly passed out.  I was drained.  The rollercoaster of emotions left us beaten.
   The next day came, and were left to process the events of Dane’s life.  Over the next 2 days we met with several doctors explaining what had happened.  Vasa Previa is a rarely (1:2500) reported condition in which fetal blood vessel(s) from the placenta or umbilical cord crosses the entrance to the birth canal, beneath the baby. The condition has a high fetal mortality rate (50-95%). This can be attributed to rapid fetal bleeding resulting from the vessels tearing when the cervix dilates, membranes rupture or if the vessels become pinched off as they are compressed between the baby and the walls of the birth canal.
    My parents brought Mya, our 1 year old, to the hospital.  She was wearing a summer hat and carrying a flower for Mommy.  There would be countless days over the next several months when Mya would provide the much needed sunshine in our lives.  We put our hearts into being the best parents for her, and in doing so, she has helped us heal.
   God has provided strength and direction when we have felt lost.  Through our church, we found a great group of friends that all went through similar experiences.  It has been amazing to share stories and be able to connect with others.  Kelly and I are so thankful to have them in our lives.  When Kelly got pregnant again, they were there to just listen to our fears and provide love.  In June 2009, God blessed us with another girl, Macy.  Our two girls are everything to us.      

   We have promised Dane to continue to spread awareness for Vasa Previa and honor him through different charities.  He is a part of my life everyday and I miss him so much.  Any time I can open up and tell people about my boy, it becomes a healing experience for me.

                               

                              
Below is a link to a video we made to honor Dane.




In Honor of Dane Zeigler